On Beings as Patterns: leaning into our quantumness
being is: inhabiting — a mode of operation
— not a solo entity —
patterned elliptical rings in a 4d shape float in a milky galaxy of purple poofs, green glows, neon stars and luminous orbs
i’ve been viewing the world more in terms of pattern than entities.
this thing we perceive as an individual is really just a specific pattern of the universe that is blooming up here in this moment of spacetime. even me, fuzzy, am not just one or even several patterns. each of us, infinite patterns that have a higher or lower probability of exciting through into matter and form.. or what we call “reality” aka matereality or matter-reality.
i’ve been feeling myself merging with other people’s energies for moments. overlapping, a new completely different pattern emerges. i notice this more intensely since i’ve been viewing ‘relationships’ themselves as their own beings (as in both verb: a mode and noun: a conscious living thing.) and as you know if you’ve been reading along recently, i’ve been in the state of exploring relationship as art medium for about a year. i explore, express, and acknowledge all my connections as relationship; not just my relationships to other humans but to communities, ecosystems, our other-than-human earth kin, unearthed beings and energies including ideas, objects and matter, symbols, systems, elements, and forces. everything as relationship. matrices within matrices and all valid beings/entities in their own. this is connected to my understanding of us as quantum beans, quantum matter. in quantum physics, quantum matter is understood to be in ‘superposition’ at any given time. superposition refers to being in many different, all valid states at once, like a wave (varied and in flux) as opposed to a particle (specific and stagnant). quantum matter, therefore only appears to be particalized (in a certain place, state, or structure) when being measured or observed. meaning us, quantum matter, only appears to be solid matter as long as a consciousness (including our own) is perceiving or observing us. so…spoiler alert.. we are in fact these fluctuating patterns that are only ever momentarily discernible as a small percentage of the full truth of who and what we are.
when i carry this truth into my daily awareness, many things are set at ease. for one, much potential energy reverberates in my being — neutral and magnetic — when it passes a threshold of activity it feels like adrenaline or anxiety. a lot of that i’ve found comes from the desire of the different parts and patterns within me to be expressed or at least acknowledged. if i’m connecting to myself as a multitude of pattern matrices all with the potential to be brought forth, my being feels whole and unfractured. parts of me that may feel stifled or hidden when i’m more connected to myself as an idea of a certain thing, can relax when i acknowledge that i can be any number of things at any given time. i’m now available to be whatever makes the most sense, or is the most attractive (read: magnetic) pattern/expression at any given time. “i”, fuzzy, am more available to just “be” (as in active verb) in each present moment. i call this mode of relation Quantum Realism. behaving as such that our quantum nature is our truest nature regardless of the ways that may seem to contradict our understanding of linear physics or matereality. [Embracing Superposition is one of the tenants of Quantum Realism which i discuss further in my forthcoming book Earth Stuff: Spirit Vision.] when Embracing Superposition, i’m not operating from old programming or projected plan, but from the source of me ~ the multitudes of fluid patterns that might burst forth at any moment. a truer picture of me emerges, one that is vastly more interesting then when i spent time trying to craft and act from an externally-influenced, designed avatar/archetype.
timing gets synchronous when we are meeting and responding to the present with presence — an example of how our quantumness supersedes our connection to linear physics. time is pliable and fluid. our destinations and connections (or what quantum physics calls entanglements) have the opportunity to come meet us when we are acting from our embodied present. those patterns that challenge or compliment ours on our emerging journies sprout up with ease. it’s like being the star in our own open world videogame (okay but what’s the difference..shh). i decide or lean into exploring a concept, then emerging all around me, articles, songs, a random convo, a chance encounter, physical objects, ambient ideas all relating to the theme. if i’m busy trying to be anywhere but right here, i miss all these gems.
i also find it easier to not pedestalize and anxiously attach/overlap with other humans’ patterns. as i discussed in visibility in the era of chronic overexposure and systemic disempowerment masses of folx aiming for a systemically imposed supreme ideal makes a disempowered, disembodied, controllable collective. the living idols of this culture are the larger-than-life humans who appear to fill these supreme ideals and are thus stripped of their humanity. this is an anxious attachment pattern. when we give others the grace of also holding them in an understanding of superposition, we not only have context for multitudes of sometimes conflicting patterns within an individual, we also make space for ease of change and growth for us all. our patterns can freely mingle, overlap, and detach as needed. i’ve found when i’m busy being with my multitudes, i have little time to obsess over someone else’s. i have more time to revel in the momentary expressions and emergent patterns that i get to witness in others. of all the timespaces i got to witness this ! by extension the beauty in deepening intimate relationship lies not in the getting to know a “true” and defined version of someone, but in getting to see the larger emergent pattern of a being that is only apparent through many moments of contact and observation. another name for the overlapping of our patterns in spacetime — intimacy — is a being not a knowing.
on water as consciousness
on water as consciousness ~ a flow lesson
i see my spirit guides in ritual with me. we are cupping our hands to lift water above eachother’s hands and letting it flow down to eachother’s cupped hands below. you can not hold the water still. while you have some effect on it's motion and containment you can not make it solid and certain. it’s important that the water is in tru movement. otherwise it becomes something else - changes states. the flow of the water is important, the transience of it. in the skin contact, pleasure and sensation — a knowing thru touch. gravity ensures all the water returns to whence it came. you can only lift it from the river of consciousness/creation for mere moments. to contact, touch, share, before it returns. indiscernible from the pool.
the task here might not be to fully know the water, finding solidity, but to sneak its essence, flashing truths to splatter out in droplets for the shored masses. a reminder even, that the river is there for them to splash, puddle n play with.
such a huge part of the task is to share, remember, reminder that it's not so serious. life is play. the mind suffers in the body because it tries to make ssense of these limits. of the suffering.
suffering you may feel, but there is always something more available to you. always a full beating spectrum of life within and without. it is a matter of tuning and releasing to what is instead of demanding on difference. it is a matter of finding the ballroom you are in and being in that material fully.
cosmic consciousness and limitation as creative container
We are all of one consciousness, one wave, one beat, that ripples out/fractals out into smaller slices of surface consciousness. Within each of us we have access to the connected whole. Since the dawn of time people have been finding different portals and connections to this collective well within each of us. We find doorways to this well by attuning to and coregulating with nature and other earth entities outside of ourselves. The well goes by many names: source, internal planes of light, god, the universe, cosmic consciousness, divinity. It is the piece of ourselves that we recognize as greater than human. That belonged to us, and we belonged to it, in the long space before embodiment. A greater sense of nurturance or connectedness that is felt as the self larger than the self. Moments spent in awareness of this connection feel like ecstacy, orgasm, and death. A momentary forgetting of the earthbound trauma, or overwhelmingly minimizing it.
So what might be the purpose of this larger pool of consciousness sending droplets of itself into bodies. The purpose is to grow, learn, evolve, and connect thru the material of earth realm. Thru the separation and individuation of experiences within this life context, we learn different facets of consciousness and creation. A cosmic pancake spreading and morphing, separate from time. Time is not a pathway we are on but rather a dimension of measurement of change and space.
When i relate to time in this way it becomes not a measurement i battle but a place i dwell. So finding peace with time becomes less about a hierarchy of measurement and less even about forward and backward. Finding peace within time comes from finding coherence of orientation to myself within my contexts or various environments. Our experience of time is unique to embodied individuals with mental consciousness. It is how the body experiences the present and secondly how the mind interprets that experience that determines our relationship to time.
Limitation and restriction is one of the great friends of creativity. It is a strange physics of creation that more can be born of less. Specificity breeds wonder. For example, if one is plopped into a void with access to anything and everything the paradox of choices overwhelms and creativity limpins. But when we are given a limited prompt -like to make something with only a pencil, tape, and paper having to do with trees - our creativity flutters. So much fluidity and newness can flourish within a strong container.
Our individual incarnations are in a way different creative experiments born of different sets of circumstances and restrictions. What are our bodies but tiny vessels for booming creativity. Beholding this with awe helps me to shift my relationship to limits from one of scarcity to one of opportunity. Sometimes limits are a challenge to overcome and sometimes a signpost to try a different way. We all come with tools and body wisdom to help us sort thru which. And we find sacred mirrors in each other to help us reveal our processes and journeys along the way. What is the shape of your creative container? What are the loving walls of your vessel that you mistook for bars?
a practice - identify 3 limits you feel burdened with in this lifetime. what creative opportunities or benefits are associated with those limits? what have these limits taught you about yourself or your journey? what have you been led to in the process of experiencing or responding to those limits?
[image of in progress painting Quantum Egg Takes A Linear Trip by lou fuzzy 2021]