succurro fellowship: time out

-just see what’s there-

trepidation, anxiety, indecision.. things i’ve been feeling a lot of lately. feelings that come up when i give too much authority over to my mind. trying to rationalize everything is a recipe for the mental merrygoround (it only speeds up and it’s challenging to get off). the alternative is to listen to my body without judgement, turn down the mind rambling societal commentary of what’s good,bad,right,wrong, even when it feels scary or avoidant.

the mind as a rationalizing passenger, not the decisionmaker. something to be consulted, a tool to be used, a filter thru which to understand certain information from our environment. when appointed the driver, the mind acts as a block to other types of information. these are truths i hold, yet they still feel hard to access when the conditions are extreme. 

i remind my mind, you can always change course at any time. you Will always change course Allthe time. ‘the Course’ is made by a series of directional changes -- {everything emerges from a Single Point: the now, my center, my current connection to consciousness. from the point emerges the Line: moments connected, my path/direction. from the line emerges Pattern: purposeful movement, harmonious interconnectedness, Flow.} 

Flow is transcending what we are capable of with ourmind/ourselves alone..

~~~an interconnected species knowledge: that we all have access to if we slow our systems enuf to speak the language, to listen.~~~

- Just see what’s there -

i’ve been feeling ill, productivity is a scarce pleasure i covet. my body is in a deep place of telling me something - asking for something - i can’t quite figure out. that is to say, shift from dis-ease into harmony. these are the Learning Times tobesure. also a source, a point, from which we emerge/proceed/level up. when i feel time is my enemy, i waiver on everything, not wanting to waste more time or emerge in the wrong direction.

- just See what’s there -

there is no wrong direction or right direction. only direction (movement) or stillness. whatever lesson is here for me now is exactly what i’m ready for (*you can change course at any time*). but don’t just see What’s there; *really* See what’s there. get really into it; all the human stuff. ‘what is this new thing i have never felt before? how can i make this into a ritual to honor&savor whatever this experience has to offer..’ when i approach life in this way, it is playful and i find all of the beauty everywhere; beauty that may rarely get a chance to be beheld. it is truly special. so special, that it seems to me this might be the whole point of spaceship earth. it is in this mindset that i feel most in flow and harmony with life and all its parts. 

- just see What’s there -

in my continued journey of deconditioning the greatest mountain is to throw out ideas of good&bad, which implies right&wrong. these ideas come from a very old paradigm way of thinking that insists there is a singular way; a mindset we as a society are rapidly outgrowing. there is no good&bad there are only preferences and a multitude of possibilities and realities. 

~~~ as a quantum creator & divine piece of the universe

there are infinite possibilities in any given moment

making up infinite realities of possibility ~~~

**i have access to all of these possibilities and realities if i hone the connection, just as we all have access to the blueprint for health - the human pattern**

- just see what’s There -

so why am i here now?

when does it change? what does it feel like to rest and do nothing? to release anxieties and time pressures, to fully release control, to not push past exhaustion. to respond in real time to everything my body is asking for even when the mind protests. maybe that alone is the lesson to be learned, or something deeper will be uncovered. 

i honor this moment, thank it for things, of what i’m not sure. i marinate in it and look for what’s new, unfamiliar, beautiful. i listen and make space for tiny nudges and lightning bugs to show me the next move. and without consulting my mind, i step in to just see what’s there. 

(this post was written frm within & in reflection of fellowship at succurro)